Put on a Happy Face
by aussiemel1
Summary: Sam hasn't told Dean anything about the meeting he had with Ruby.  And he's not sure he's going to.  A tag to The Kids are Alright.  How it might have gone if Sam hadn't spilled his guts.


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I've written a tag for **The** **Kids Are Alright**, although I'm not a big fan of tags, they become obsolete very quickly. _So why did you write it?_ I hear you ask. Lol. Because I couldn't get it out of my head that at the end of the last episode Dean knew nothing about what Sam had found out from Ruby and I wondered if Sam would tell his brother.

Thanks to my beta Ali, she really helped me with this one.

Usual disclaimer applies, don't own it, blah blah.

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Put on a happy face

He hadn't told Dean yet. Didn't know how to. Wasn't sure that he would.

Because he knew exactly what Dean would say.

"_Stay away from her, Sam. Our lives have been screwed over enough by demons we don't need to be inviting one in."_

And it was good advice, sensible and true. But she'd hit him with that tantalizing bombshell. "_I can help you save your brother."_

To Dean that would be nothing. The response would be the same, _stay away from her_. But to Sam it was something. Something big. Because he'd been looking for an out since Dean had made that deal and he had the feeling that he wasn't going to find it on his own.

That's why he hadn't told Dean about her yet, hadn't mentioned who she truly was and what she had told him, kept his big trap shut when Dean had returned from Lisa's, way earlier than Sam had expected, and asked him what he'd been up to.

_Nothing _Sam had replied disingenuously.

For the rest of the night he was holding onto it, being cagey, not looking directly at his brother, deflecting questions that veered too close to what was being hidden, sticking to safe topics. _What do you want to eat? What are you watching? Any preferences for where we should go next?_

He knew it was obvious. He'd spent way too much time with his brother to be a mystery. But he was fairly certain Dean wouldn't force the issue. And he couldn't banish it from his mind, couldn't stop thinking about his last meeting with that woman, that demon, Ruby. He was torn down the middle every time he thought about the predicament he was in.

Demons lied. They had agendas. They screwed with people's lives just for the fun of it. They had no honour, no morals and no way could they be trusted.

Demons were bad news. Fullstop, end of story, amen brother.

But knowing all this, it was still the best hope Sam had of saving Dean.

Sam hadn't completely lost his perspective. He wasn't buying the _I just want to help_ routine Ruby was trying to sell. He may be desperate but he wasn't an idiot. There was a reason she was dogging him.

And just because Ruby said she could help get Dean out of the deal, didn't mean she actually could, or that she would.

However, even with all the uncertainty that Ruby brought, she offered a real chance at confounding the deal because she was one of them, a demon, she knew the loopholes and ways around and things that he wouldn't even know to look for.

But what did she want in return?

That was the kicker.

Sam knew she had to want something. She was leading him somewhere with that clue about all of their Mom's friends being killed. And he was going to reveal that information to Dean at some point, but not yet, because it was all bound up in Ruby being a demon, and Dean was going to react badly to that. Sam wanted to wait before disclosing anything to his brother, until he had more of an idea about what she wanted and what she could offer.

So for the time being, he was keeping his mouth shut.

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Dean lazed on the motel bed with a beer in his hand studying his brother. Sam was hunched over the table peering at the laptop, looking for another job, but his gaze kept skipping above the screen, he kept staring into the distance for long periods at a time before remembering what he was supposed to be doing and returning to the information in front of him.

They'd been playing this game for a few days now, the _Sam's hiding something_ game. His younger brother was useless at deception. So far, Dean had let him get away with it. That calling for a pizza at the café thing? That was insulting it was so obviously a lie, that wasn't even trying. But hey, who was Dean to probe, everyone was entitled to their privacy and no-one respected a right to privacy more than Dean.

But since getting back from Lisa's a few hours ago, Dean had noticed that Sam had stepped it up, it wasn't just amateur deception any more, it was distraction, it was deflection, it was turmoil and conflict papered over with unconvincing smiles and banal conversation. And it was getting on Dean's nerves.

As much as Dean hated communicating, hated the whole revealing of thoughts business, he hated it more when Sam _didn't_ do it. That drove Dean nuts because if Sam didn't tell him what his problem was there was a heaviness between them, a loaded silence that was unfamiliar in their easy relationship. And it was unusual for Sam _not_ to spill, usually he couldn't contain himself, usually Dean just had to wait him out and Sam would confess whatever was on his mind.

When at the end of the night, Sam was still bottled up and distant, Dean felt the need to let his younger brother know that he wasn't going to play this game forever, that his patience extended only so far. If Sam wasn't confessing then he was probably stewing on something that he thought Dean wouldn't be sympathetic to, probably something to do with trying to get out of the deal. And that in itself was cool. Dean had made it clear he wasn't interested in looking for ways out of the deal, that even _trying_ to get out of the deal would result in Sam's death, so if his brother wanted to waste his time on secret investigations and wild goose chases then Dean didn't have a problem with that _per se, _he trusted that his brother wouldn't make any sudden moves that could jeopardise either of their lives, that he wouldn't be reckless.

And Dean hadn't forgotten the secret he'd kept from Sam for months, their father's dying plea, so he wasn't going to press his brother to reveal something he didn't want to reveal, he wasn't going to be a hypocrite. Whatever Sam's problem was, whatever it was he was trying to hide, whatever it was that had him frustrated or despondent or conflicted or whatever the hell this reticent behaviour was trying to mask, he didn't _have to_ confess it, Dean didn't have to know what it was, but little brother needed to put on a better facade because there was a gap opening between them that was going to get wider if it wasn't checked.

"So I have another dying wish."

Dean opened with the sucker punch. He knew it hit the mark every time and he figured the more he said it, the more immune Sam would become, maybe start to accept the reality.

Sam's eyes rolled heavenward. He was getting pretty tired of Dean using the deal to gain favours. Initially Sam had been blown away by how insensitive and cruel it was, but Dean had pulled it so many times now they were getting into double figures and it was losing its impact.

He turned to his brother and waited for the rest.

"I want you to put on a happy face."

Dean tilted his head and flourished his hands in a gesture that said, _that's all I'm asking, it's not much_. It might have been a plea if it hadn't been so forcefully stated.

Sam gave a mirthless laugh. "I'll just be _thrilled_ that you're on the clock shall I? And that you keep throwing it in my face like a jerk."

Dean blinked at that, before he said roughly, "Yeah, be thrilled. Just stop moping."

"Which part should I be thrilled about? The part where you spend eternity in hell? Or the part where you leave me behind shattered and guilty?"

Wow, Sam surprised even himself with how low that was. The gloves were off. He hadn't intended to be so harsh but he was struggling to cope with Dean's que sera sera attitude.

Dean had to take a moment to collect himself. Sam was a master of the passive-aggressive, his words could be sharper than a knife, he could cut Dean to the core from ten paces and he had just one upped Dean in the sucker punch stakes. That one had him reeling. _Shattered and guilty? _Christ. The older hunter had to counsel himself not to bite back, not to get defensive, not to get dirty because he didn't want to start an argument, it wasn't what he was trying to achieve.

With forced calm Dean said, "It's not about the end result Sam." He stopped, took a swig of beer, because he knew the next question was going to be _what is it about_ and he had to think of an answer to that.

"What is it about?"

Dean smiled to himself at how predictable his brother was.

"It's about enjoying the time that's left. Making the most of it. Can we just-" He ran a hand through his hair down to his neck trying to find the right words.

"Pretend it's not happening?" Sam suggested. And Dean wanted to say _yes, exactly_, but Sam was being sarcastic.

"Accept and enjoy," Dean offered.

"No," Sam said indignantly. "We can't."

Dean clicked his tongue unhappily. "I'm just saying this doesn't have to be the worst year of your life. It is what you make of it."

Sam gave a sad smile, folded his arms across his chest. _Doesn't have to be the worst year of my life? How could it be anything less?_

"How about you deal with the year your way and I'll deal with it mine."

"I don't think that's working for us Sam," Dean commented earnestly. "You're drifting man, and maybe I am too, I don't know, but we seem to be doing this-." Dean brought his hands together then floated them in opposite directions, a gradually diverging path. "And we're only, like, four weeks into the year."

"So what are you suggesting?"

"Just put on a happy face. Whether you feel it or not, just put on a happy frigging face. For my benefit. Don't make this year a downer."

Sam didn't reply, just turned his attention back to the computer. They were so far away from each other on this deal business, at opposite ends of the spectrum. The year _was_ a downer, Sam couldn't reconcile his brother's upbeat attitude with the reality of what was going on. How was Dean fooling himself into believing there was anything positive about only having a year to live?

With a sigh he twisted his head toward his brother and showed him a large false smile.

"There you go," Dean said with satisfaction. "Maybe give it a little practice, but you're on the right track."

It was all Dean wanted, an illusion that Sam was okay, that they were okay. He didn't care if it was just a gloss, it was enough for now.

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Laying in bed that night, the darkness gave Sam way too much leeway for thinking. Dean's gentle breathing in the next bed had him doing calculations in his head about exactly how many days were left of the year. Then he mused over whether the deal expired at the exact minute the deal was made or whether it was going to expire at midnight of the day before.

It didn't make much of a difference. There were only a few hours in it. But it would be nice to know when _exactly_ the keeling over was going to occur.

Sam shook himself. It was a long time before they reached the end and he wasn't going to break himself apart worrying about something that might be prevented.

It was then that Sam resolved to cast in his lot with Ruby, using a demon to defeat a demon was their best shot at saving Dean's life. If it didn't work out, if Ruby turned out to be too twisted to work with, he'd still have time to scramble for a back up. But he wasn't going to dwell on the negative, wasn't going to consider how many ways it could turn to nothing, all he was going to focus on was Ruby being an opportunity, maybe the miracle they needed.

Making that decision, convinced that for the moment it was the best course, alleviated some of the weight on Sam's shoulders. There was still much to do, much to learn and he knew he had to be careful how he proceeded, having a demon as an ally was a dangerous proposition, but now he had a direction, a plan, and it gave him hope.

Although he knew he was going to have to go forward in secret. Dean couldn't get wind of any of it because he would immediately bring the curtain down. Sam was going to have to perfect that false smile his brother was so keen to see if he was to have any chance of getting Dean out of the deal.

**The End **

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A/N:

So I just watched Bad Day at Black Rock and the first thing Sam did was spill his guts to Dean about Ruby. lol. Sure picked that wrong. I really thought he'd keep it to himself for a while. I guess that's why I'm not writing the show. 


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